As I write this, it’s currently Wednesday night, the eve of my son Liam’s fourth birthday. Over dinner, my husband and I reminisced…four years ago we were celebrating our due date at a charming restaurant called The Norbert with none other than a Friday night fish fry—not my favorite, but we shared, and between my nerves, excitement, and the 7-pound-11-ounce soccer player in my belly, I could hardly eat as it was. Earlier that day, I had journaled about how great I felt at week 40, but also that I was finally ready: “Universe, I surrender,” I declared in black ink. Later that night my water broke, and at 2 a.m. we made our way to the hospital feeling as eager as we were anxious. Oh, the anticipation! Our lives were about to change forever. It wouldn’t be the last time.

As I reflect on those early days up until now, I feel the weight of time, yet I also welcome it. Just as Liam has grown over these last four years, so have I. I feel like I’ve been reborn again and again and again, a constant evolution, and I fully embrace the transformation—I continue to become a better version of myself, not only in cancer’s wake, but because of it.

Cancer made me do it

My kids’ birthdays have made me extra emotional this year, given all that we’ve been through. Life is unexpected, and there is only so much we can control. I kept this in mind as I thought about what we would do on his birthday. Last year, he went to school, the year before I kept him home and we went to the zoo. This year, I know he would prefer to stay home with me. I teared up with my husband earlier this week as I justified giving up a work day to spend the day with Liam; even though I know I will be around for a lifetime of birthdays, the fear still creeps in. What if…don’t go there. My work can wait for a day. One-on-one time making memories with my baby boy is priceless. Cancer really helps this hit home.

the lesson

Here’s the lesson I’ve gleaned from all of this, and I hope it hits for you—you don’t need a cancer diagnosis (or another illness or the fear of one returning) to justify skipping work to spend time with your child or a loved one on a birthday. Heck, you don’t need an excuse to skip work to spend time with anyone (or even just yourself) on an ordinary day. Don’t wait for “next time.” You hustle, hustle, hustle, but what for? Embrace the present moment. Live your life. Fall into love with living it. And never ever take any of it for granted.